Writing

What are you like?

Hi, I am shy.

I don’t smile at people.

People think I am ‘indifferent’ or ‘moody’.

I generally am, though.

But when I am not, I don’t smile at anybody anyway. I walk around with a perpetual frown on my face. That is my face when it is resting, and I am thinking about things. Mostly life, mostly what I am going to have for lunch, mostly whether or not my keys are in my pocket.

My ‘moody’ demeanour makes it hard for me to make friends, because its pretty off-putting. Most days I don’t want to make friends, because the general population make me very irritated.

The man who is parking on double yellow making it so I have to wait for the oncoming tide of traffic to wane so I can get past, for example. I gave him a right old glare as I went past. Was it necessary? No. Would it change his attitude toward parking on double yellow? Certainly not.

But it gave me pleasure and so I glared as hard as I could.

I am very good at glaring.

I am also good at being awkward. I say unnecessary things and make unnecessary faces.

Take the other day when I was waiting in the dentist waiting room. The assistant was a girl I knew from college and then uni. We were surprised to see each other.

She smiled so wide at me. That reminded me that I had to smile too.

She was blatantly in uniform, and when she said “Oh I work here now,” I said, without really thinking, because sometimes i faze out when I talk to people, I don’t know why,

“Oh really!?”

Then she tugged at her dark blue scrubs, “Yeah, look at my clothes!”

That was weird. Why did I say that?

I knew she worked there. She even had a name badge.

When the appointment was over, I went to leave.

“Well, thank you so much. See you Wednesday.” I said.

Then she said, “It was lovely to see you.”

I would never have said that.

“It was lovely to see you too.” I told her. And it was.

“How’s married life?” she’d asked me, as I blew my nose loudly in the waiting room.

Ugh. Why do people insist on asking me that? It’s so annoying. I am not defined by my ‘married life’.

Now I take to answering people like this;

“Yeah. It’s regular. We wake up and brush our teeth and go to work and school and do life, then go to bed at night. You know, the usual.”

It’s been three years. My life is more than just the ‘married’ aspect of it.

Ask me something interesting, like what are my plans for the week. Or what do I think about the current situation. Any situation. I would say I think the bee situation is getting out of hand and they really ought to do something about those rats.

Ask me about my mental stability. I joke. That would be weird.

I will tell you, though, that I secretly think I am insane and might have some kind of disorder, because in my dreams people keep revealing to me that I am autistic.

I mean, that’s ridiculous, but it might have some truth? I am terrible with humans, absolutely terrible.

I never used to be, though. 

Oh dear. Who knows. I’m happy, though, the way things are. I think I need to meet people more like me, though. I generally attract folk who aren’t like me at all, which is probably why I struggle to enjoy their company.

Anyway.

What are you like?

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11 thoughts on “What are you like?

  1. I’m shy and awkward too, which in person I think a lot of people read as me being “standoffish”, rude or indifferent. Truth is I just don’t want to be a bother to them or say something I shouldn’t!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I had fun reading this. It was nice getting to know you a little. I had a stroll through your page a while ago, and one of my favorite posts of yours is “I am afraid to grow up.” I still look up at the sky every time I’m outside, and know for a fact that people stare at me as I do it. But I’m unusually stubborn when it comes to letting go of my childlike spirit. I think everyone should try and hold onto it, because it’s a lot more fun being a little weird. It snowed the other day and I found no one to have a snowball fight with. It’s little things like that that get to me. Since when are we all too important to be a little silly sometimes? Well, to answer your question, I’m not as shy as I used to be but I only really click well with certain people. But once we bond, it’s kind of a lifetime sort of thing.

    Seems like you’ve already been nominated for an award, sweet! I happened to nominate you for another, haha, the Sunshine Blogger Award. I doubt you’ll do both and some people don’t do this kind of thing at all. But I really like the look and feel of your blog and hope you get more recognition your way!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for taking the time to read and for this wonderful and long comment! I am totally on parr with you about not letting go of one’s childlike spirit – I once knew a woman who played games with the kids and threw her entire spirit into it despite having three small children. I suppose we are all children inside, smothered by responsibilities haha! You sound like you have found the perfect balance in life, it’s good to have a small close knit circle of really good friends 🙂 Thank you so much for nominating me! I am new to the blogging business so I am deeply honoured 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. This was an amusing post for me to read as I think I have the opposite problem: my face is way too smiley. Not just when I’m happy but pretty much all the time, which is a pain because I always attract that nutter on the bus or the weirdo in the bar that thinks I am giving them signals. It also doesn’t help at sad times such as funerals, smiling at inappropriate times really can get you hated too ><

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Awwww no! You must be a really upbeat and joyful person to be around haha! It sounds painful when you attract unwarranted attention though. Oh, I sometimes laugh when I am really upset or scared or confused – so I totally know what you mean about smiling at inappropriate times. Hang in there! 🙂

      Like

  4. Your writings are quite good and different. Made me feel nostalgic, really. And it all resonates within. I don’t know what I’m like, or when the transition took place. But I do wonder why you stopped writing. Wish you hadn’t. I would like to read more from a person who is so clever with words.

    Liked by 1 person

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